With so many venues closed down, challenges of all the various restrictions, and a bunch of London fetish events slowly disappearing, we invite you to support our initiative and keep the London’s scene alive and flourishing, whilst at the same time encouraging newbies and first timers to learn and experience the wonders of BDSM in a safe, supportive, tolerant environment. Attending your first event can be a daunting experience; not knowing what to expect, not realising how friendly and welcoming people actually are, not knowing how much consent and respect is valued in the scene. We were all newbies once….
The most important things to be aware of at Club DVS are consent and respect. It’s all good in our book if you want to enjoy somebody and perhaps take part in their experience, or even just to hang out and watch gorgeous people getting off, but only if it’s consensual.
This may seem a little obvious, but the seeking and granting of consent can get a bit grey and murky in lots of aspects of society and human interaction, and playtimes can produce incredibly intense feelings when an activity you really connect with makes all those lovely chemicals and hormones start to flow. Feelings of joy, pleasure, vulnerability, helplessness, power, control, confidence, and a host of other strong emotions can come along with playtimes, and this is why our events insist on Enthusiastic Consent. Yes means yes. Maybe doesn’t mean yes. Eye contact can’t always accurately convey a yes, so be sure! Consent is binary – it’s not a maybe, it’s a second-by-second yes/no decision, and it’s always yours to make and your responsibility to look out for in others.
To be specific: consent is always required at our events before play or touching of any kind. Kinksters can be a pretty huggy, touchy-feely crowd, but only in the direction of consenting friends! Don’t try to snuggle a stranger without asking, and certainly don’t try to get involved in anyone else’s play without their prior consent. Don’t even linger too long if you find yourself watching people play unless it’s from a respectable distance, and since this is a public event, don’t stop people playing just to ask to watch them. Absolutely do not take photos or videos (we have people you can ask for that). That was a lot of don’ts, but with them you’re empowered to have a lovely ethical, fun time at our events.
So, if someone takes your fancy and you feel like doing something with them, all you have to do is respectfully ask. If you’re going to do something considered kinky with somebody, you want to be very sure that it’s also what they want. So ask! Be specific with what you ask, too. A simple “may I?” can suffice in some situations, but if you’re looking to get your kink on with someone you’ve just met or don’t know very well, it’s usually best to ask, be specific with it, and be cool if met with a refusal. Too many people have grown accustomed to dating and clubbing situations in which consent is seldom sought, and we hope you’ll find it refreshing, reassuring and hopefully sexy and charming to operate under the umbrella of consent culture we enforce at DVS.
Similarly, own your own consent. Know that you can revoke it at any time, know that no pressure is on you to consent to anything you don’t want, and know that we will do our best to ensure everybody at our events feels at ease, so don’t ever be afraid to say “no”. Likewise, don’t be afraid to say “yes”! When you do consent to something and you actively want it to happen, let it be known! We want you to explore yourself and your kinks at our events, and whilst lots of playtimes can be a euphoric and beautifully heightened sensory experience, we also know how easy it is to be a little intimiated by that. This is why we want to assure you all that although the crew is full of dominants, consent rules supreme at DVS, and the only one who decides what you do is you.
This is also very true for any event, social, or sexual encounter, although too many people aren’t this consent-aware and don’t play that way. Now you know better, so whatever other memories you might take away from attending our event, please ensure you take consent culture with you, and spread through the rest of your life out in the world to help us make it a better, safer, sexier place.